Falling
by TreesAndCheese
Summary: Matthew just wants to fall. He wants to feel the wind, the rush. He wants to forget his pain in favor of the freedom of the sky. Songfic- this is not a happy fic. Has past Canada/Russia that did not go well.


_I've fallen out of favour  
>And I've fallen from grace<br>Fallen out of trees  
>And I've fallen on my face<br>Fallen out of taxis  
>Out of windows too<br>Fell in your opinion  
>When I fell in love with you<br>_

Matthew looked over the beautiful view laid out below him. He looked past his gently swinging feet to the city scene below him thinking how easy it would be to just fall. He had done so many times before, just from not quite so high up, or not usually by his own choice. Normally he was shoved to the floor by someone who would never look back at him to make sure he was ok.

He was, of course, he just figured that was his lot in life. He didn't even mind it one bit, quite the opposite in fact. It was exhilarating to fall. To feel the wind, to see everything rush past in an unimportant blur. He had some bad falls, yes, but the worst was the emotional one. There was a time that he had hope for the future. Hope that someone would lift him up and not ever let him free fall. Soon, he found it was better to fall then to fly.

At that time he had fallen in love with someone, deeply and truly. He had never truly intended for the other to find out. He had left a piece of paper with both their names scribbled inside and intricately drawn lacy heart after a meeting by accident. It was Ivan, the one that made him fall head over heels. Ivan had picked it up and asked him out on a date. For Matthew, it was going going beatifically, but it was all a lie. He had been abused simply because he knew Matthew would not fight the one he loved. Eventually, something had to snap. He when from flying, soaring over the clouds in happiness, to suddenly crashing down, falling to the cruel world below.

It was for the best really.

_Sometimes I wish for falling  
>Wish for the release<br>Wish for falling through the air  
>To give me some relief<br>Because falling's not the problem  
>When I'm falling I'm in peace<br>It's only when I hit the ground  
>It causes all the grief<br>_

Matthew closed his eyes and tilted his face up to the gray, drizzling sky. A soft breeze moved his hair ever so lightly. He inhaled deeply and he imagined what it would be like to jump from this building. He would feel so free. The air would come up and embrace him in it's gentle grasp. The air currents would swirl around him like angel wings, slowing his fall ever so slightly. It would be so peaceful. Matthew's brother thinks he is the land of the free. Ha. Land is not free. The sky is free, it is true freedom and serenity. **No one can take the sky from me.**

Matthew shifted forward just a little bit, so he was even less steady, even closer to freedom. If only there was no land. That would be perfection.

_Oh-ooh  
><em>_  
>This is a song for a scribbled out name<br>And my love keeps writing again and again  
>This is a song for a scribbled out name<br>And my love keeps writing again and again  
>And again <em>

Who did he have to live for? The only one he cares about is Ivan. He still loved him after all the pain. The pain of having the wings of innocence torn from his back. Matthew hoped he would find out he had jumped. If he fell himself, he could go no lower. Then they could be together and the sky would be theirs forever.

**For you, my love. My dear Ivan**

_Fall_

**Hey! This is TreesAndCheese!  
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**I had wanted to do a songfic for a long time... then I discovered this song last night. Thus! This was born! I hope you liked it. This is "Falling" from Florence and the Machine, which is my current music obsession.  
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**If you liked it you should leave me a review.**

**If you catch any mistakes please tell me so then I can fix them *nods.**

**Also~ if you caught the *cough* *cough* very subtle *cough* *cough*Firefly reference i'll give you a cookie ^_^ ( not a real one)**

**Disclaimer: This doesn't belong to me. The characters and the song used belong to someone else. **

**Tons-o-luv**

**TreesAndCheese**


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